I need help removing her.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
