i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I supernannyed him into submission
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
