So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize