Your face is a jimmy john
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
