somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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