You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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