sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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