Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
