Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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