he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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