Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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