Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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