Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize