I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
