remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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