he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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