He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize