Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
