You just made me feel so damn special
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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