can we get nightvision for the apartment?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I could fuck to npr.