That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything