I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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