There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
