found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
