there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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