at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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