Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
