I only kidnapped one of them. chill
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
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