girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
