I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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