Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
