Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
