The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
