just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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