Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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