Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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