no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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