Sry I called you an 8
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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