if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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