I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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