the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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