Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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