Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize