I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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