I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
