I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
foreskin is a definite game changer
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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