It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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