I heard we made out
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
