I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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