he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My life is pants optional.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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