Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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