Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
