is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
