i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
