Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
