I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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