...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
