He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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