so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
